People Pleasing

Posted on by Jane Carlile Baker, Author, Editor, Teaching Consultant

I’m studying Exodus. Moses was a reluctant spokesman for God to the pharoah of Egypt. I suspect he may have started out as a people pleaser, as opposed to a God pleaser. I have been called a people pleaser, by others and by my inner voice, Weezer, who is a … bitch.

I have this issue. Here it is. God created us to need each other, to be relational. We need to give and receive love. So when does that become people pleasing?

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First, I looked up what a people pleaser does. This is adapted from Psychology Today.

  •  we disobey what God says, or our own moral code, to please a person
  • we never evaluate the availability of our time or inclination before we say yes
  • we’re unable to manage our health because we’re overcommitted to others
  • we make all the plans
  • we do all this because we live in anxiety from early relationships, and that causes fear of failure or rejection

So, I hit that list on all five points. Great, what do I do? Hebrews 11:27 says this about Moses: “By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing Him Who is invisible.” He kept checking in with God, again and again and again. And as he did, he became a God pleaser instead of a people pleaser.

So I made a longer list of how I can do this in practicality. Here you go:

  • Put time with God early in my day
  • Track my food
  • Exercise before I start my “to do” list
  • Speak up for myself, and remember, the outcome of speaking up is not the issue
  • Attend events less frequently and use the time to recharge
  • Identify one responsibility I can cancel to gain free time for myself
  • Teach people how to behave toward me by rejecting behavior I don’t want
  • Say no to something small
  • Express my opinion and learn from people who disagree

So there you go. Next is, practice, practice, practice. And tell your Weezer to shut the hell up.

 

 

 

Published by Jane Carlile Baker, Author, Editor, Teaching Consultant

Jane has loved writing from the time she learned to hold a pencil. Her writing journey moved from that pencil to personal computers through the seventies, she edited for a hospital public relations department. The eighties found her owning a public relations business, publishing newspaper and magazine articles, and directing communications for a large church. In the nineties she published her first book and led critique groups and writers' workshops. In the twenty-first century she became a teaching consultant for the National Writing Project, published several more books, and began an editing business. Jane also loves raising chickens, dogs and alpacas, gardening, oil painting, swimming and hanging out with her family.

2 thoughts on “People Pleasing”

  1. “Weezer,” eh? Nifty term. When you get a minute, I’d love to see the derivation. I bet it’s got personal and fun.

    On Fri, Apr 10, 2020 at 12:09 PM Jane Carlile Baker wrote:

    > Jane Carlile Baker posted: “I’m studying Exodus. Moses was a reluctant > spokesman for God to the pharoah of Egypt. I suspect he may have started > out as a people pleaser, as opposed to a God pleaser. I have been called a > people pleaser, by others and by my inner voice, Weezer, who is ” >

    1. Weezer is the cranky old lady Shirley McClain plays in Steel Magnolias.

      On Fri, Apr 10, 2020, 10:15 AM Jane Carlile Baker wrote:

      > Respond to this comment by replying above this line > New comment on Jane Carlile Baker > > * profparks > > commented on People Pleasing > * > > I’m studying Exodus. Moses was a reluctant spokesman for God to the > pharoah of Egypt. I suspect he may have started out as a … > > “Weezer,” eh? Nifty term. When you get a minute, I’d love to see the > derivation. I bet it’s got personal and fun. > >

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